Top 5 Candies No One Eats Anymore

Joelle Beck, Staff Writer

Whether you’re 15 or 50, chances are that you’ve been trick-or-treating at least once. It’s always a fun time parading around your neighborhood accepting candy from strangers. However, there’s always that one piece of candy at the bottom of the bag that nobody wants. This is a top 5 list of candies that put the “trick” in trick-or-treat.

Circus Peanuts: Most people have never heard of this candy or have erased this candy from their memories, and with good reason. There is no accurate way to describe the vileness that is Circus Peanuts. Though they’re orange and look like peanuts, they taste like bananas. Even people who like Circus Peanuts can’t decide whether or not they are soft and fresh or hard and stale due to the candy being harder than the traditional marshmallow. The history of this candy is clouded, as with most foods, but perhaps this is because no one wants to admit they’re responsible for creating this much-maligned product. But never fear, unless you go rummaging on the bottom candy shelf at a gas station convenience stores you probably won’t encounter Circus Peanuts.

Nik-L-Nip bottles: The novelty of Nik-L-Nip bottles is great. Most recall having their first taste of these wax bottle candies when they were around five years old. Nik-L-Nip is a brand of confectionary juice created in the early 20th century and comes in a variety of fruit flavors, marketed by Tootsie Roll Industries. The name refers to the original cost of the candy (a nickel) and the preferred method of opening the wax bottles (a nip off the top). Although the wax is food-grade and non-toxic, it is recommended that the wax is not eaten. The wax bottles have accompanied many of us while growing up but as you grow older the reality sets in and you realize that you’re biting through the wax to get not even a mouthful of sugar water. Because of this, Nik-L-Nip bottles are left at the bottom of the trick-or-treat bag by the time we’re 10 years old.

Necco Wafers: Necco Wafers have some mixed reviews. Some old-fashioned candy fans claim that this candy is at the top of their favorites list. Others say if you’re making chalkboard art then by all means, buy Necco Wafers. Although this candy is like Smarties, bigger, not as sweet, and more chalky, Necco Wafers are in decline due to reasons other than taste. It is easily the oldest branded candy in America, dating back to 1847. At the time of the Civil War, these candies were called “hub wafers” and were carried by Union soldiers. By 1912 they were officially advertised as Necco Wafers and the U.S. government ordered the wafers be produced for soldiers overseas during WWII. The company that creates the candies has been acquired several times, first in 1963 and most recently in 2018. As of July 2018, the future of the candy and its company is unknown so many people have been panic-buying Necco Wafers.

Jujubes: Anyone who has ever eaten this candy can agree that the first bite of Jujubes is not what they expected. As a kid, you open the box all excited because the candy looks like Dots gumdrops. Then you take a bite and immediately realize you were far off. Jujubes are “cured” longer making them firmer, although I’m sure most can agree they’re hard as rocks. Only a fool would try to chew them, and once you soften them enough to chomp down you glue your teeth together…what fun!

Runts: Someone in 1982 really enjoyed the taste of rotten and overripe fruit, and that person created Runts. At first, this candy draws trick-or-treaters in with mini versions of fruit look-a-likes but by the time everyone goes to consume Runts, it’s already too late. Not only does the hardness of the candy make even the most reckless of orthodontist patients weary, but the sugary flavors are also way too sour. The banana flavor is particularly offensive. Sorry for the people who like Runts but the presence of the candy is in decline thanks to the disappearance of coin-operated candy dispensers.